Subject: His past won’t let him last
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m dating a man that is so tied to his past that it won’t let him last. We are not going to make it because he’s always talking to his ex-girlfriends and his ex-wife. He has a child in his life that’s not his, but he told me that the boy will always be a part of his life. His ex-girlfriend was pregnant when they started dating and he raised the child for 3 years. Then they broke up and he got married. The ex-wife let the boy come over and spend time at the house. Now that I am married, I don’t have time for the boy because his mother is not nice to me. She calls my boyfriend and expects him to talk to her until she gets home if she’s out and she drops her location to him or shares her Uber information with him, like he’s her protector. He says he is nice to her because she is a single woman and he wants to be sure she’s safe. I feel like he is out of line and she is too. Then there is his ex-wife that he’s had sex with in the past 6 months, right before we met. He is honest about everything and I can’t take it. On one hand, I appreciate his honesty but then I can’t handle it once I know what he’s done. I’m not friends with any of my exes and they can’t call me. That’s just me. My boyfriend doesn’t understand why I can’t be friends with my exes and he thinks it’s a character flaw. We can’t get on the same page about anything when it comes to his past and mine. I thought I was being respectful by cutting off my exes and he said that’s not normal. It’s a crazy conflict that we have and it seems like we are compatible in every way except that. I don’t want to fall in love with him and have to share him with these women from his past. I’m thinking of leaving him… Is this a wise decision or not?